From Asking to Offering: The Mindset Shifts Every Founder Needs

If you have never raised any money before, everything about the process might feel daunting. You will most likely get many, many no’s before you get a yes. I will not pretend that this can’t get demoralizing and exhausting. Fundraising can bring up a lot of fear of rejection and fear of failure. It can also feel uncomfortably like asking for a handout.

This can be especially true for founders who grew up in economically challenged households. They might have fears around how they are perceived by institutions of power. And they may feel that it’s demeaning to ask for money or that it reminds them of times of scarcity when their parents had to ask for assistance.

An uncomfortable feeling of pride can rear its head. I want to reassure you that in the process of getting loans, or grants, or investments, you are not asking for handouts. You are giving people the opportunity to partner with you in co-creation. You are someone else’s smart business decision.

If you are imagining that you will never be someone who can do this, I want to reassure you that you can—if you harness my three prospective Prosperity Principles.

Founding a company is also funding it

A mistake people make in their fundraising mindset is thinking of it like a diet, or training for a marathon—something that they can grit their way through—until it’s over. However, funding is so intrinsic to founding—the words are only one letter apart. You have to become someone who pursues funding and revenue with the same energy you bring to other aspects of the venture.

The secret is incorporating the MAE (mindset, action, energy) framework to fundraising. It is what has made me a successful fundraiser—a combination of envisioning success, embodying that energy, and taking affirming actions through strong connection and by always putting myself out there. Then the universe takes over.

It’s not about you

Some people are naturally comfortable in an endless cycle of fundraising. There are professional fundraisers who work for foundations and NGOs, and their entire job is asking people for money. We can learn a lot from them.

The key differentiator for professional fundraisers is that they are deeply motivated by what they are raising money for, and it is not themselves.  Every day they are able to ask, ask, and ask again because they have a deep conviction that the money they are asking for will do good. You can harness this same strategy. You are not asking for yourself. You are not asking for this money because you want to be a rich CEO or because you want to be famous. You are asking for this money to have the opportunity to bring this idea to life. You are asking for the opportunity to serve your customers. You are asking for the opportunity to employ people in work they find meaningful and rewarding. You are asking for the opportunity to make a difference. And you are asking for the opportunity to return that money with interest. You are the Lorax speaking for the trees. You are speaking on behalf of your Deep Inner Why. You are its ambassador, and only you can help it get the oxygen it needs to catch fire.

Make friends with your fear

Fear is not bad. Fear is the adrenaline that sharpens your focus and puts numbers in your mouth you weren’t even aware were in your brain. If you were asking for money with absolutely zero fear that you’d ever be able to pay it back, you’d be a cyborg. You are doing a big, brave, beautiful thing that not everyone is capable of, and your fear is here to remind you of that. It’s telling you that what you’re doing is important and you should take it seriously.

You might need to tap on that fear or ask your scared part what it needs to feel safe. This is an emotional process that brings up a lot for people, and we don’t need to pretend that it isn’t or that it doesn’t. By acknowledging the fullness of our experience, we can bring our whole self into the room, fear, and all.

When founders I mentor come to me feeling overwhelmed, and wondering if they really can achieve their goals, I take them through a focused process. I have seen how it can transform these feelings of fear and unworthiness into something you can love about yourself and make you even more the person who can and will carry out the great vision you hold for your life.

Sit in a comfortable, quiet place. Even though you may be having negative feelings, I want you to allow those feelings to recede for a moment and tune in to the feeling you’d like to embody. It

could be any of the 8 C’s—such as confidence, calm, courage— which are all very useful states to tap into.

Next, I’d like for you to envision if this state had a color, what would it be?

Open both palms in a receiving position on your lap and place the feeling you wish to embody in one of your hands. Use all of your senses: Visualize the feeling, hear it, taste it, touch it, and smell it. Imagine the color, shape, weight, temperature, and anything else interesting about this feeling you can conjure up. Get creative and curious. The more fun you can have, the better!

Now I’d like you to turn your attention to the other hand and do the same exercise but with the part of you that you would like to change. Maybe it feels hard and jagged, or sticky and clingy. Maybe it is hot to the touch. Or so cold it burns.

How old were you when you created this resistant part of yourself? Don’t overthink it, just say the first number that comes to mind.

Now conjure a memory from that age where you felt this feeling of resistance. What was being asked of you? Were you being asked to switch schools, go along with a divorce you hated, succeed in an area that was foisted on you?

Talk to that smaller, younger, innocent you that experienced that moment, what is it that the feeling of resistance wanted for you all along? Really try to have a conversation.

Your answer unlocks both feelings, the one in your left hand and the one in your right hand, to bring you new insights. Now clasp your hands together and thank that part for working tirelessly for you all these years to ultimately bring you the value you are holding in your other hand.

When we can learn to love all our parts, we can see our many facets working together for a greater good.

I leave you with this thought. Your prospectus is called an offering for a reason. You are offering the opportunity to partner with you. So shift from asking to offering, and watch the magic unfold.

This is an excerpt from Built on Purpose: Discover Your Deep Inner Why and Manifest the Business of Your Dreams by Betsy Fore. Copyright ©2025 by Betsy Fore. Used with permission of Harper Business, an imprint of HarperCollins. All rights reserved.

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