Dave Says: The Healing Process Will Take Time

Dear Dave,
I went through a divorce earlier this year, and I was granted custody of our children. They’re 13 and 18. The house we live in is paid for, and it’s worth about $450,000. I also don’t have any other debt. My ex-husband has been very good about paying child support, and I have $175,000 in savings. Should I be investing at this point?
Michele

Dear Michele,
I’m really sorry to hear about the divorce. I know the whole situation, regardless of the financial situation, is very hard on you and your kids. Do yourself, and them, a favor, okay? Make sure you spend a ton of quality time with them. Hug on them a lot, pray and let them know how much you love them every single day.

Now, let’s get to the nuts and bolts of your situation. Fortunately, it sounds like things are pretty good financially. At the very least, you’ve got a net worth of over $600,000. But here’s the thing. I’m sure the trauma of having your life upended is still very painful. That being the case, I wouldn’t recommend making any big decisions now. It’s never a good idea to make important, long-range plans when your emotions are messed up.

When it comes to the money you have in savings, my advice is to just let it sit there a while. I know it won’t make much money, but you won’t lose anything, either. Then, in a few months when your emotions are in a better place, you can look into investing some of that into good growth stock mutual funds. Find a quality advisor, one with the heart of a teacher, who can walk you through the process and explain your options and investments in ways you’ll understand completely. Knowledge has a way of erasing fear and uncertainty.

Finally, at some point you’ll need to take a look down the road, and decide what you want to do with the rest of your life. Do you want to go back to school? Maybe start your own business? Take a little time later to allow for thought, education and deciding what you want out of life now. But above all, Michele, please spend lots of time with your kids. Also, if you’re not currently in a good church, I’d suggest finding one nearby. Those things will help so much with the healing process.

God bless you all.
— Dave

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