Tag: spent

I’m 66 and I finally understand that my father’s anger when I came home late wasn’t about rules — it was about the 45 minutes he spent at the window imagining every possible version of what might have happened, and by the time I walked through the door his nervous system had processed so many catastrophic simulations that the relief arrived as fury because his body didn’t have a calmer way to discharge the accumulation
I used to start every day by opening my laptop before I had finished my coffee and by 9am I had already responded to eleven other people’s priorities and had not spent a single minute on my own — and I did that for six years and called it work ethic before I understood it was the most effective way I had ever found to avoid the discomfort of deciding what I actually wanted
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