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By most every metric, I am a wealthy person.
I own three cars and a home. I have an emergency fund, a retirement fund and a college savings fund for my son. I have no debt outside of my mortgage. I have a six-figure salary, in addition to my husband’s income.
My net worth puts me in the category of “high earner, not rich yet.”
I don’t say this to brag; it’s more of a shameful confession. Despite having the trappings of wealth, I don’t feel wealthy.
A lack of money has been a persistent feature of my life until fairly recently.
My parents weren’t rich, and as a highly sensitive child, I deeply felt that reality. I noticed the bank overdraft notices on the kitchen counter, overheard the fights about money, and sensed the vibe of desperation. Worrying about money became my default setting.
It’s not worry over the current state of the economy. Most Americans making $125,000 or more have concerns about the economy, according to the Conference Board’s June Consumer Confidence Index report.
I constantly worry about money and whether I have enough. It is one of the last things I think about at night and one of the first things I think about in the morning.
Lately, I’ve been calculating the big expenses that are in my family’s future — car maintenance, family vacations — and wondering how much longer my husband’s 13-year-old car will last.
Scarcity mindset is real
I suspect that most of us, regardless of income, worry about money.
We sifted through Reddit forums to get a pulse check on how high earners feel about scarcity mindset. We used an AI tool to help analyze the feedback. Here’s what rose to the top of our analysis. People post anonymously, so we cannot confirm their individual experiences or circumstances.
Based on the comments, many high earners, particularly those who grew up with limited means, struggle with a scarcity mindset.
This manifests as excessive worry about spending money, guilt over purchases (even small ones), and constant fear of losing wealth despite having high salaries. Some mentioned earning $300,000-$500,000 and having substantial savings.
The solution for me, then, must be psychological. I’ll have to shift my mindset about money.
Money scripts create money worries
My early experiences shaped my belief that money scarcity is a source of anxiety and conflict, and that conversely, having a lot of it would create peace.
Simi Mandelbaum, a certified financial therapist and founder of PROSPR Financial Wellness, called this my “money script” — a largely subconscious belief about money that drives financial behaviors.
But money scripts are only partly true, according to Brad and Ted Klontz, who coined the term.
Mandelbaum says that a lot of high earners worry about money in part because of flawed money scripts.
“People think, ‘When I earn X amount of money, my life will be happy,’” she says. “When money doesn’t make them content, it stresses them out.”
Flipping our money scripts
I’ve certainly realized the lie in my own money script. Lots of money doesn’t bring peace. Yes, it buys me a stable lifestyle that comes with having a home, reliable transportation and good health care. But peace is another matter.
My money script — authored by financial instability — made me hypervigilant about money.
“It’s helpful to get to know your anxiety and what form it takes in order to then bridge the gap between what has happened and what you would like to happen,” Mandelbaum says.
Over on Reddit, many suggested that finding the right balance between saving for the future and living in the present is key to overcoming a scarcity mindset.
Users recommended therapy, setting up specific budgets that include guilt-free spending, building a larger emergency fund, and the importance of perspective — money is a means to an end, not the goal itself.
As for me, I’d like to rewrite my money script to this: I already have enough.
A little worrying can pay off
I have another confession. I’ve grown to like worrying about money.
Yes, I should worry less, but it’s also true that the careful attention I bring to my finances, borne out of money worries, has literally paid off.
Painful memories of not having enough money have motivated me to become a responsible steward of the money I have today.
Because I worried about retirement, I started investing in a 401(k) at 21. I increase those contributions whenever I get a raise, which serves as an effective moderator against lifestyle creep.
When I perform my daily financial audit every morning, I look for evidence of fraud. When we found unauthorized charges on my husband’s debit card a few years ago, we acted quickly and avoided any financial liability.
One of my friends recently asked about my financial ritual, wondering if things could be that different from one day to the next.
“I won’t know unless I check,” I responded.
Here’s the thing: No one cares about my money like I do, so it’s my responsibility to manage, monitor and nurture it. Worrying about money helps me make the best financial decisions for my family.
And if I’ve done my job correctly, my son won’t ever know the feeling of not having enough. That will make me feel like the richest person in the world.
