Financial stress isn’t just about numbers; it takes an emotional toll. More than half of couples surveyed (52%) reported anxiety, poor sleep, or depression after arguing about money. The most common triggers? Day-to-day spending (28%) and insufficient savings (24%).
To help navigate these tricky conversations, we spoke with Stacy Yanchuk Oleksy, CEO of Money Mentors, who shares practical strategies couples can use to talk about money openly and reduce conflict.
The hidden side of financial stress
It’s not just arguments that reveal financial tension. The survey found that 11% of respondents admitted to lying to their partner about personal finances to avoid conflict, and 13% have considered lying about it.
The rising cost of living adds pressure. In 2025, the Consumer Price Index (CPI) rose 2.1%. Although that’s lower than the 2.4% increase in 2024, Canadians have seen nearly a 20% increase in the cost of goods over the last five years.
This steady increase can chip away at savings and push couples to rely more on credit. As Yanchuk Oleksy notes, “Debt distress doesn’t make your mental health better.” This added strain can challenge almost any relationship.
Related reading: Credit counselling calls surge as Canadians struggle with rising costs
Building a solid financial foundation as a couple
Before discussing finances with your partner, Yanchuk Oleksy recommends: “Be solid on who you are with your money.” Know your own money values and habits first. Once you understand your finances, you and your partner can decide together how to handle money going forward.
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There’s no right or wrong way to manage money as a couple, as long as you communicate and come up with a system that works for the two of you. Some options include:
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Combining accounts fully
Keeping finances completely separate
A hybrid approach
Approach the conversation with curiosity. Understand your partner’s financial mindset, triggers, and goals, just as you would expect them to understand yours. Being interested in what shapes your partner’s viewpoint can help you more successfully manage finances as a couple.
A note about credit scores: Even if you open joint accounts, remember that credit remains individual. Each partner’s credit score is affected by how they manage money.
Navigating tough money conversations
Money disagreements happen in every relationship, whether you’ve been together two months or 10 years. When that time inevitably comes, Yanchuk Oleksy offers this advice:
Breathe. If you find yourself having a panic attack or feel your heart rate rising, pause and breathe. A few deep breaths can help calm your fight-or-flight response.
Remember that you’re on the same team. “When you realize that money is more than just dollars and cents, you can be more compassionate to your partner.” Remind yourself that you’re a team.
Call a non-profit credit counselling agency if needed. A neutral expert can help you create a manageable budget, find community resources, and offer support.
Have regular conversations about money going forward. Curiosity shouldn’t stop after the honeymoon phase. Don’t be afraid to casually ask about money. What are your partner’s money triggers? How were they raised to think about money? This can help avoid surprises later.
If your partner won’t attend credit counselling, go on your own. Advice is confidential, doesn’t affect your credit score, and you can share insights with your partner afterward.
The bottom line
As Yanchuk Oleksy says, “Money is never just about money. It’s about how you feel about it and your relationship to it.” Most couples struggle with finances at some point, but with compassion, open communication, and a plan, you can navigate money challenges together.
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