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Ever notice how some dinner parties flow effortlessly while others feel like pulling teeth?
Last month, I found myself at a friend’s dinner table, surrounded by strangers.
What started as polite small talk about the weather quickly evolved into a fascinating discussion about urban development, the role of art in society, and how different countries approach healthcare. Three hours flew by.
Walking home that night, I realized something. The people who seemed most at ease weren’t necessarily the ones with the most degrees or the fanciest job titles.
They were the ones who could engage naturally with a range of topics, drawing connections between ideas and sharing perspectives without being preachy.
We often think of being “cultured” as something exclusive or pretentious. Like you need to speak multiple languages fluently or have visited every major museum in Europe. But that’s not it at all.
Being cultured is really about curiosity. It’s about having enough breadth of knowledge and interest to connect with different people and ideas.
And if you can comfortably discuss these seven topics at dinner parties, you’re probably more cultured than you give yourself credit for.
1) Current events without getting into fights
Here’s the thing about current events: Everyone has an opinion, but not everyone knows how to discuss them productively.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I have friends who vote completely differently than I do. Some of our conversations leave me frustrated, sure.
But they’re also incredibly useful. They force me to understand why reasonable people can look at the same situation and come to different conclusions.
The cultured approach to current events isn’t about winning arguments. It’s about understanding the complexity of issues and being able to discuss them with nuance.
Can you explain multiple perspectives on a topic, even if you disagree with some of them? Can you acknowledge when an issue is genuinely complicated?
Politics was a dinner table topic when I was growing up. My parents taught me early that if you’re going to argue a point, you better be able to back it up.
But they also taught me to listen, to ask questions, and to recognize that most political issues involve real tradeoffs.
If you can discuss what’s happening in the world without alienating half the table or resorting to simplistic talking points, that’s a real skill. It shows you’re informed, thoughtful, and secure enough in your views to engage with different perspectives.
2) Books beyond the bestseller list
When someone asks what you’re reading, do you have an answer that goes beyond the latest thriller everyone’s talking about?
I usually have a few books going at once. Right now, there’s a biography of Churchill on my nightstand, a book about behavioral economics in my bag, and a history of the Ottoman Empire that I pick up whenever I have a longer stretch of time.
But being cultured isn’t about reading obscure texts to impress people. It’s about genuine curiosity. It’s about being able to connect what you’re reading to broader conversations.
Can you share an interesting insight from a book without giving a full book report? Can you recommend something based on what others are interested in? Can you draw parallels between different things you’ve read?
The beauty of books is that they give us access to ideas and experiences far beyond our own lives. When you can bring those perspectives into a conversation naturally, it enriches the discussion for everyone.
3) Art and culture without sounding pretentious
You don’t need to know the difference between Monet and Manet to appreciate art. But can you talk about why certain music moves you? Can you explain what you found interesting about that new exhibition or documentary?
Being cultured about art means being able to engage with it on a human level.
It’s not about name-dropping artists or using fancy terminology. It’s about understanding that art, in all its forms, reflects something about the society that created it.
When I travel, I’m drawn to places with complicated pasts where you can see history in the streets.
The architecture, the public art, even the graffiti tells a story about what matters to people there. Being able to discuss these observations, to wonder about what they mean, that’s cultural engagement.
4) Food as more than just fuel
Food is one of the most accessible entry points to culture, yet many people never think beyond their own preferences.
Can you discuss why certain ingredients became staples in different cuisines? Do you understand how immigration patterns shaped the food scene in your city? Can you appreciate a meal as both sustenance and cultural expression?
You don’t need to be a foodie who posts every meal on Instagram.
But if you can talk about food with genuine interest and curiosity, if you can share a story about a memorable meal or explain why certain flavors work together, you’re engaging with one of humanity’s most universal cultural expressions.
5) History that connects to the present
History isn’t just dates and dead people. It’s the story of how we got here.
Can you draw connections between historical events and current situations? Can you explain how certain decisions made decades or centuries ago still affect us today?
When I walk through cities, I spend hours trying to understand how a place came to be. Why are the streets laid out this way?
What economic or social forces shaped this neighborhood? These aren’t academic exercises. They’re ways of understanding that nothing exists in isolation.
If you can discuss history as something living and relevant rather than just dusty facts, you show a depth of understanding about how the world works.
6) Science and technology in human terms
You don’t need to understand quantum physics, but can you discuss how technology is changing society? Can you engage with scientific topics without either dismissing them as too complex or accepting every headline uncritically?
Being cultured about science means understanding it as a human endeavor. It’s about being curious about how things work and what the implications might be. It’s about asking good questions even if you don’t have all the answers.
7) Different ways of living and thinking
Perhaps most importantly, can you discuss different approaches to life without immediately judging them as right or wrong?
Can you talk about how other cultures approach family, work, or happiness? Can you acknowledge that your way of doing things is just one option among many? Can you be curious about perspectives that challenge your assumptions?
This doesn’t mean accepting everything as equally valid. It means being able to engage thoughtfully with difference, to understand before you evaluate.
The bottom line
Being cultured isn’t about accumulating knowledge to show off. It’s about developing genuine curiosity about the world and the people in it.
If you can engage comfortably with these topics, you’re doing more than just making dinner party conversation.
You’re showing that you think about things, that you’re interested in understanding rather than just opining, that you see connections between different areas of life.
These aren’t skills you develop overnight.
They come from reading widely, listening carefully, traveling when you can, and most importantly, staying curious. They come from being willing to be wrong sometimes and to change your mind when presented with new information.
The next time you’re at a dinner party and find yourself in a engaging conversation that spans multiple topics and perspectives, recognize it for what it is.
You’re not just passing time between courses. You’re participating in one of civilization’s oldest traditions: The exchange of ideas over a shared meal.
And if you’re doing it comfortably? Well, you’re more cultured than you think.
