Does a compliment make you squirm? Or do you feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop when you get that promotion without a massive struggle?
You’re not alone. I’ve watched countless people sabotage their own success because deep down, they don’t believe they deserve things to come easily. They’re more comfortable with struggle than success.
After years of observing this pattern in myself and others, I’ve identified seven core beliefs that keep us trapped in this cycle. If good fortune makes you uncomfortable, chances are you’re carrying at least a few of these around.
1. You believe suffering equals worthiness
Here’s something I learned the hard way during my corporate years: we’ve been sold a lie that anything worth having must come through pain.
Think about the stories we celebrate. The entrepreneur who slept in their car. The athlete who trained through injuries. The student who studied 18 hours a day. We romanticize the struggle so much that when something comes without it, we question its value.
I remember landing a major client early in my business without the usual months of negotiation and pitching. Instead of celebrating, I spent weeks wondering what was wrong with the deal. Why was it so easy? What was I missing?
The truth? Nothing was wrong. Sometimes good things just happen. But when you believe suffering equals worthiness, ease feels like cheating.
This belief runs deep. Psychologist Brené Brown talks about “foreboding joy” where we imagine disaster during happy moments because we think we need to earn our happiness through hardship.
2. You think luck is finite
Remember being told as a kid not to be greedy? That mentality sticks around, morphing into the belief that there’s only so much good fortune to go around.
When something goes well for you easily, do you immediately think, “Well, that’s my luck used up for the year”? That’s this belief in action.
During my transition from corporate to running my own business, I had to confront this head-on. A project would go smoothly, and instead of building on that momentum, I’d pull back, convinced I’d exceeded my luck quota.
But here’s what I’ve learned from reading about probability and success: luck isn’t a bank account you can overdraw. Good things happening doesn’t mean bad things are coming to balance the scales. The universe isn’t keeping score.
3. You believe you’re fundamentally different from successful people
This one’s sneaky because it disguises itself as humility.
You look at people who seem to have things fall into their lap and think, “Well, they’re just different. They’re the type of person good things happen to.”
I spent years in corporate watching colleagues get promoted and thinking they had something I didn’t. Some invisible quality that made them deserving of easy wins while I needed to grind for everything.
Running my own business forced me to confront this lie. Those “naturally lucky” people? They had the same doubts, the same struggles. The only difference was they didn’t reject good fortune when it showed up.
Success isn’t about being special; it’s often about being in the right place at the right time and being ready to receive what comes.
4. You think accepting help means you’re weak
How many times have you turned down assistance because you wanted to “earn it yourself”?
This belief that accepting help or having things come easily somehow diminishes your achievement is particularly common among high achievers. We’ve internalized the myth of the self-made person so deeply that we’d rather struggle alone than succeed with support.
A mentor once asked me why I was making a project harder than it needed to be. I couldn’t answer him then, but I know now: I thought the difficulty validated the outcome.
But think about it: Is a surgeon less skilled because they use the best tools? Is an author less talented because they have a great editor?
Success doesn’t happen in isolation. When we reject ease because it often comes through others’ help, we’re not being strong. We’re being stubborn.
5. You believe ease means it won’t last
“Easy come, easy go,” right?
Wrong.
This belief keeps us in a constant state of anxiety about good things that happen without massive effort. We assume that anything gained easily will be lost just as quickly.
I see this constantly with people who land dream jobs through connections rather than lengthy application processes. They spend months waiting to be “found out” instead of settling into their success.
But durability has nothing to do with difficulty of acquisition. Some of the most lasting successes come from being in the right place when opportunity knocks. Some of the hardest-won victories crumble immediately.
The relationship between effort and permanence is a correlation we’ve invented, not a law of nature.
6. You think you need to pay in advance
Ever catch yourself thinking, “I haven’t worked hard enough for this yet”?
This belief treats life like a vending machine where you must insert sufficient suffering before receiving your reward. Good things happening easily feels like getting something on credit that you’ll eventually have to pay back with interest.
During my people-pleasing years, I’d overcompensate whenever something good happened easily. Got a raise without asking? Better work twice as hard to “deserve” it retroactively. Received unexpected praise? Time to take on extra projects to justify it.
This backward math exhausts us. We’re so busy trying to balance imaginary books that we can’t enjoy what we have.
7. You believe comfort with ease makes you complacent
Here’s the final fear: if we get comfortable with good things happening easily, we’ll become lazy. We’ll lose our edge, our drive, our hunger.
So we maintain discomfort as a motivational tool. We reject ease because we’re afraid of who we’ll become if we accept it.
But after years of wrestling with this, I’ve discovered the opposite to be true. When you’re not exhausting yourself trying to “earn” every good thing, you have more energy for what actually matters. Accepting ease when it comes doesn’t make you soft; it makes you strategic.
The most successful people I know don’t reject good fortune to stay sharp. They accept it gratefully and use the energy they save for the battles that actually require fighting.
The bottom line
These beliefs didn’t develop overnight, and they won’t disappear overnight either. But recognizing them is the first step.
Start small. Next time something good happens easily, just sit with it. Don’t immediately look for the catch or start calculating what you “owe” the universe. Just let it be good, and let it be easy.
Deserving has nothing to do with difficulty. You don’t earn worthiness through struggle. You don’t validate success through suffering.
Sometimes good things just happen. And that’s okay. Actually, it’s better than okay. It’s exactly as it should be.
The real question isn’t whether you deserve good things to come easily. It’s whether you’re ready to receive them when they do.
